me too

Residency Update

2005-03-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

So today was the deadline for submitting my residency match list. It was a really tough decision to make, but I did it. I ranked Seattle first, then San Diego, Portland, San Francisco, and Sacramento. Seattle had the best program and the best clinics to work with. San Diego had the best weather. I was set on San Diego as my first choice up until Tuesday when I changed my mind based on the options for Am Care clinics. Seattle has a Women's clinic, an adolescents clinic, and an International clinic that all sounded interesting. I think that I would have more teaching opportunities at San Diego though. Seattle, I would have more free income because they paid a little more and the rent there was less. Casey also has friends in Seattle already that might make it easier of a transition on him. Although he really did want to learn how to surf. I find out on March 23 where I match.

Residency Update

2004-12-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

After the residency showcase at the ASHP midyear meeting in Orlando, I have narrowed down my list of 710 programs to 5 that I will apply to. The showcase was really nice, I'm not sure if it was worth the $1800 for Casey and I to go. I did talk to over 50 programs all over the US (out of the over 200 programs that were there). I walked right past anything in Texas and Florida which elimintated quite a few. I came to serveral conclusions:
There are plenty of good programs to apply to, but I really can eliminate them based on location.
New York is out, not because I couldn't live there, but because their laws restrict what a pharmacist can do.
West coast programs kick east coast programs asses (in general, I'm sure that their are individual exceptions).
Jenny's conclusion: At best, Kingsbrook Jewish Hospital picked a bad representative for their program, at worst, she WAS representative of their program.
Midwest programs are rival to west coast on advancement but I still don't think I could live there.
And finally, I have no reason to feel like a hick from the sticks with a sub-par education from ISU. I could kick ass anywhere (and will).
So, these are my top five in no order:
UC San Francisco
UC San Diego Medical Center
UC Davis Medical Center, Sacramento
UW Medical Center, Seattle
Oregon Health and Science University, Portland
All are university affiliated programs based in large teaching hospitals in the west. I am so much less stressed now that I have that worked out. Now all I have to do is apply. I already have my references picked out and my transcripts ordered. I just have to fill out some forms and write some essays. I hate writing admission essays.

I'm sorry

2004-11-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

I got off track there. My original point was that I have had a lot on my mind this season. I haven't been as in-touch with people as I'd like. What can I say, I'm a bad friend.

I was supposed to call Jenny on Thanksgiving, but I forgot. We only had all day Thursday to see Casey's family, my mom, my sister, and my grandma. We crammed it all in but I felt like I was looking at the clock the whole time. It's like speed dating, only instead of switching tables every 10 minutes you have to drive 20 minutes from house to house. Why does everyone have to pick opposite corners of IF to live in? I am really excited to come see you next week. We are counting that as Christmas and probably not going to IF again. Casey has to work the day before and the day after Christmas and the one day whirl-wind trip in snow is just too much.

I also procrastinated Kelli's birthday and mailed my card late and won't see her for a few weeks now to give her her gift. Its cool though Kelli, and it won't be a birthday/Christmas gift, just a late birthday gift and an on-time Christmas gift. I guess that means that you get the whole month of November and a few extra weeks for your birthday. That's it I am moving my birthday to the end of the month too, its just not fair.

2004-11-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving put me into a real holiday funk. On the 20th my step-mom had a family reunion dinner. Casey had to work but I went, so did Paula, Sean, Rainie, and Kami. So did my oldest brother Tom and his family. I thought that was great. Kathie was really proud to introduce us all as her kids. It was a huge family reunion. There were about 160 people there, all related to Grandpa and Grandma Jensen, Kathie's parents. Isn't that insane. What was best about it was that the family was so big that they didn't know each other very well. Even though I only new Kathie, my dad, and Kathie's brother Frank, I still fit in. And all of the family drama was more like entertainment because I didn't know these people!
I left my purse in Paula's car and she left early and drove all the way to IF with it. That sucked, becuase it had my car keys in it and so I couldn't go home. I stayed the night at my dad's and then he took me to Poky the next day to meet Paula to get my purse back. It was nice talking to him. I feel really guilty about having a great relationship with my dad now. I shouldn't have to feel guilty about it though because it is what I always wanted.

He told me about the divorce. I never really talked to him about it. I always thought that he had been really critical and controlling, wouldn't let my mom have a job, and wanted to be really strict with Paula and I, so my mom finally had it and we left. Then she met Jerry (Jessie's dad) and we moved to IF. Well, over the last year I have picked up on a few details that add to the picture. My mom said once that she met Jerry before she left my dad. Dad said that my mom left, but without Paula and I, shortly after my older brothers moved in with us from Minnesota (their mom had just died of cancer and my dad wouldn't let their step-dad raise them). My dad was heartbroken (or maybe just panicked because he now had two sons 13 and 11 that he hadn't seen in years and two daughters 3 and 18 months and no wife). The point is that she left us. My dad made her take custody because he thought that she wouldn't be able to handle it alone and would come back to him. That was his reasoning. What an idiot. When I was a kid and would tell my mom I hated her and wanted to go live with dad she would tell me that he didn't want me either. I'm not sure how to deal with this new information. One the one hand it doesn't change anything. They both ruined my childhood, but I fixed it, and grew up fine despite them. But I still feel hurt that she might not have really wanted us. I always thought that those comments were immature things she said after I said something hurtfull. On a scale of one to ten, before my mom met Howard, I thought she was a 10 and my dad was a 4. Then when she went crazy and locked herself in her room and did drugs I though she was an 8 (I didn't blame her yet, and felt sorry for her) but dad started looking better and moved up to a 6. Then when she moved back in with Howard after leaving him for the 4th time with a broken nose and/or several cracked ribs I blamed her and she dropped to a 4. Then Grandma taught me not connect my self-worth with anyone elses and to let God do the judging, she moved back to a 5. I'm still working on the forgiveness and not judging lessons, those are really hard. Then when Casey and I bought the trailer in April before graduation, and moved to Pocatello the day after my graduation, my dad moved up to an 8 because he loved Casey and helped him work on the roof and fix up the trailer before winter. He gave us a lot of emotional support when Casey's family wasn't. That meant a lot to Casey, and me too. Now my mom is really distant and she won't take care of herself. She's told me several times now that she only has to live long enough for James to turn 18 (that would be 9 more years). I am mad at her because she has COPD and the early workings of emphasema. Her teeth are almost all gone, she won't smile anymore. And now she is discouraging Jessie from getting his driver's license and/or getting a job (the most liberating moments of my childhood). Her reasoning being that once I got a job and a car I left to live with Grandma and then when Paula got a job and a car she ran away and dropped out of high school. Shouldn't that be a hint! Jessie is not as angry at her as we both we though so he seems to be ok with mom supporting him. I am keeping my self at a distance from her too because I don't want to watch her die. I just want to hear about it later and then fly in for the funeral. I'll send money for medical bills once I have it, but I'm not taking care of her anymore. I let her die the last time I stayed up all night with her because I knew you weren't supposed to let people with concussions sleep. I should have called an ambulance.

I heart Huckabees

2004-11-17T09:57:00.000-07:00

We went to see I heart Huckabees last night at the Flicks. I love the Flicks. They serve beer at the snack counter. It is the best movie theater ever. They even have a student discount. We went with Casey's really anoying friend Isaac. He bugs the hell out of me. At least we went to a movie so he wouldn't talk. He wanted to come over after the movie and I was sooo happy that Casey said he was tired already and had to work early. That kid has some serious issues with his mother. Anyways, I heart Hucabees is a great movie. I loved it. Its about the universe. We loved the cinamatography too. The cast was great too. It was so unique. Everyone should go see it.

I'm going to New York!

2004-11-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

I am going to ASHP Midyear conference in Orlando from 12/5 to 12/8. Then Casey and I are going to go to New York City until the 12/12. I am really excited. So is Jenny. I was surprised that it didn't cost very much more to fly from Boise to Orlando to New York City and back. It costs a lot to fly to Orlando anyways. Casey and I had been debating about what to do for fun. Since we were already paying for airfare we thought we might as well take a cruise. Kelli and Bud didn't really love their cruise from Florida to the Bahamas and that was the only 3 day cruise leaving from Orlando that weekend. Casey's mom has been trying to talk us into going on a cruise as a whole family for Christmas for years. We called her and said lets do it, but then she backed out. Thats probably better because Casey's sister has three kids under 4, his brother can't leave the state, maybe the county, I'm not sure, and his other brother's wife will be in the middle of final exams. Thats alright, we'd probably be the only ones that would have to pay for ourselves. It will be way more fun to go to see Jenny. She is going to take me around and show me some of the hospitals that are on my list of residencies.

Procrastinating

2004-10-21T19:46:00.000-06:00

This is a great way to put off doing my homework. I need to prepare a 15 minute talk on Fabrazyme, an enzyme replacement therapy for Fabry Disease. Yup, I thought that you would be just as interested as I am.

Foosball Flu

2004-10-14T16:25:00.000-06:00

So, I think I might be coming down with the Foosball Flu. Although I haven't played Foosball for months, I may be an atypical case. I am nauseated but will not throw up. I can't remember the last time I threw up. It was at least before I started dating Casey (May 5, 1997) so at least almost 8 years. Probably longer becuase I really can't remember. I don't remember throwing up at Howard's house and we moved there in 7th grade. I've been really sick since then though but just can't throw up. Casey sometimes makes himself throw up when he is sick just to get it over with. He throws up a lot. One time we were camping and Kelli's husband, Bud, gave Casey some canned oysters. He spent most of the night throwing up in the bushes. Casey will try anything but most of the time it makes him sick. You would think that he would learn. Anyways, I am really stiff and tired. Yesterday I came home at 4 pm and went to bed. I woke up when Casey came home from work. He had a crappy day so he just climbed into bed with me and we stayed there until my alarm went off this morning. So I got 15 hours of sleep. I still feel crappy. I'm not nauseated anymore though.

Yuppies

2004-10-11T18:40:00.000-06:00

Kelli and I were talking about our upcoming graduation. After watching Casey go through his post-graduation depression (PGD) we were discussing what we were most afraid of. Do you know what I am most afraid of? I am afraid of moving away, becoming a yuppie, and my mom hating me. It's already starting. She says little things all the time about how stuck up yuppies are. I never thought of my mom as being judgmental like that but she really is. She is biased against people with more money than her. She acts like they all drive nice cars and live in bigger houses just to show off. She always made fun of people who lived in Stonebrook or other nice subdivisions like that. Like they were sell-outs or something. Now my sister has just bought a house just off of first street in that neighborhood between First, 12th st, and Hit Road. It is really cute, but older and needing a lot of fix ups. Paula is loving in and I think that she will become the next Martha Stewart but without the stock fraud. Now my mom is starting to make fun of her for shopping at Home Depot and TJ Maxx every week for home repair and decorations. She said that we were both turning into yuppies. And God forbid should I move to California, the spawning region for the worst kind of yuppies--ex-hippies that moved to California but got educations and made money in the technology boom and then moved back to Idaho. I know that she is just afraid that we are going to be too busy to see her right? But it makes me feel so guilty for turning into something that she made fun of all my life. I am afraid that she will think that I am only doing this to spite her. It must sound ridiculous for me to say that but the term yuppie has really started to hurt my feelings. I'd rather she just call me a slut again. At least then I knew it wasn't true.

Howard

2004-10-10T19:43:00.000-06:00

I saw my ex-step-dad the other day. I was going over to my mom's to see her, the boys, and Paula and her family. Howard was there picking up James for the weekend in a new red truck. He's put on some weight. That made me a little happy. He still curdles my blood. I could do without ever having to see him again. My grandma told me that hating him only makes me feel bad and that it does nothing to him. Running him over with my car would do something to him though. My grandma is right though. I spent most of my senior year hating him and it only made me feel ugly inside. It's a tough lesson to learn and I am still working on it. Its the ultimate lesson for me on not judging others because it is not my place to decide who goes to heaven or hell. It would be comforting however to know that we weren't going to the same place. I love my grandma. If I hadn't gone to live with her, I hate to think of what would have happened to me. I was on a scary path until she saved me from myself. Casey gets some credit for that too because he taught me that not everyone hurts. I'm going to write her a letter now.

Pharmacy Residency Programs

2004-10-10T19:28:00.000-06:00

Today I downloaded a list of all of the residency programs that will be presenting at the ASHP Midyear Meeting in Florida this December. There are hundreds!! Even after I crossed out all of the programs in the south between Texas and Florida where it is too damn hot and humid to live. Then, deciding that crossing off programs in states in which I would not like to live (does that sound weird, I was trying not to say "states that I would not like to live in") would take too long, I converted to highlighting programs in states that I would like to try living in (damn it! it is hard not to end a sentence with a preposition). I'm looking for something in the northwest like in Northern California, Washington, or Oregon. I'm also not ruling out New York, Southern California, and Arizona because I have friends that live there and I would love to be closer to them. I need some input on almost every other state in between because I know nothing about them. I should want to go somewhere completely different but I'm afraid to end up in a parallel of Pocatello. Casey needs to be in a meca of multimedia, maybe somewhere with a masters program. We both agree that aligators are scary. I hate all of Texas because that is where my ex-step-dad and Bush are from (there's another one!!). I have a professor that was from Vermont, he made it sound great to live there, and they support gay marriage. Honolulu has a program that Casey wants me to do so he can change careers and become a surfing instructor. Would I have to wear a bikini to work? It would be great to live within a days trip of a ski hill, but not somewhere where it snows year round. Dry heat is better than humid heat although heat is bad in general. I love it here in Boise. I also love my appartment. So, do me a favor and scout out some residency programs in your area or areas that you have visited and let me know.

Pharmacy Fair

2004-10-09T19:21:00.000-06:00

I just got back from Pharmacy Fair in Pocatello. Its a recruiting fair put on by the college to bring potential employers to Pocatello to see the college and meet the students. It has been nice to talk to different pharmacies and get an idea of what jobs are available and what areas of the Northwest are recruiting. It is frustrating as a first, second, or third year student because graduation is so far off that none of the recruiters take you serious. So, I was really looking forward to coming back as a forth year student. However, once I got there I was less than enthusiastic. It was disappointing. Graduation is still far enough away that it is hard to start looking for a job. Actually, most of my classmates still don't know what they want to do after graduation so no one is very serious. The only places that are looking for pharmacists are retail places like Walmart and Walgreens. Since I want to do a residency next year I am not even looking for a job. It turned out to be boring and draining. I had eight interviews. Two were residency programs in Pocatello (there is no way I am moving back there), one was a big HMO that has a residency in managed care (the current resident used the phrase "go to meetings" about 500 times), one was a Boise professor that brought information about some of the residencies in Boise, two of which I am definately not interested in (on a side note, I know you are not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition like "in" but sometimes it doesn't sound right to reword the sentence, is that what they mean by Snake River grammar?). I also interviewed with both of the hospitals in Boise, and IHC which runs Primary Childrens and LDS hospitals in Salt Lake City. I have issues with the LDS church and I just don't think my obsession will be curbed if I lived in SLC. Pocatello caused enough emotional outbursts. It was exhausting to go from one interview to the next.
I also got to see some of my classmates that went to other locations for rotations. Pharmacy school is a lot like elementary school. There are 55 students in my class and we have had the same class schedule together for 3 years. For most people, that is too long. By the end of last semester we were all getting sick of each other. Pharmacy Fair is a good time to catch up on gossip but also made me realize that 4 months apart was not enough for me and some others. I was most excited to see Kelli, my best friend since high school. I stayed at her house. I have a crush on her husband, but she has a crush on mine, so as long as everyone stayes faithful its all good : ) Kelli is doing a rotation in Arizona right now so it was just me and Bud for the first evening. I would have tried harder to flirt with him but he kept talking about his full body rash that he got from his mothers laundry soap. He sure knows how to kill the mood. We ended up watching the Apprentice together, sitting across from each other, on our cell phones with Casey and Kelli. We laughed at how lonely and pathetic we were. Their dog Scout was mad at me because I took her room. They have a guest room, but it really belongs to the dog. She's the only dog I know that has her own queen sized bed and bedroom.

rotations update

2004-10-05T22:36:00.000-06:00

Adult Medicine: My first rotation was with St. Lukes Internal Medicine. In the mornings I rounded with the SLIM doctors on their patients in the hospital. I spent my afternoons in small lectures or giving presentations to my fellow pharmacy student and my preceptor. I loved my preceptor, she was very encouraging and inspirational. My final project was to give a 30 minute seminar to the hospital pharmacists on Cystic Fibrosis. All in all I loved it and want to work in a clinical setting where I can round with a team of doctors.

Community (Retail): My second rotation was with Walgreen's, which I hated. I spent my first week locked in a broom closet, literally, well not locked, but it was a closet, with a computer to do training CDs. That was so dreadfully boring I started crying at several moments, but stopped myself in case someone found me crying in the closet. When I was done with that my preceptor had me wander around the OTC products for a few more days. Then I rotated through the different work stations (In window, filling, out window, and drive through) for the second week. Then I only ever worked out window or drive through because I could counsel customers. Let me tell you how much I hated drive through. I hated drive through a lot. I didn't cry though. Even when a lady yelled at me because I didn't have her prescription (not on her profile, not filled, and not ready) which she later realized was filled at Albertsons, not Walgreens. I did almost cry several times on my way to work though. It was all very depressing. Most of the technicians were nice in a very fake way, but I'm OK with. The pharmacists other than my precepting pharmacist, were also very nice to me. They did what little they could to make it more fun. My preceptor hardly spoke to me. I was there for 4 weeks before I realized that there was a bathroom IN the pharmacy. You would think that should have been a part of the orientation. The only suggestion for improvement that he gave me was to try and use the key strokes more often because it was faster than the mouse. My best week was the last week because he was on vacation. Although I've heard that other stores are better to work in, I will never work for Walgreens.

Ambulatory Care: My third rotation was awesome. I was really afraid of my preceptor. He was really scary in lecture the year before, but in person he is great. Am. Care is more of a focus on out patient care at a clinic than on in patient care at a hospital (my first rotation). My preceptor had a different philosophy that the failure of Am.Care is what lands people in the hospital so you will learn more faster by being in the hospital. This rotation ended up being a cross between medicine and am care. I spent the morning rounding with the Family Practice resident doctors in St. Alphonsus (the other hospital) and the afternoon in clinic. I really liked rounding on a patient in the hospital, doing their discharge counseling, and then seeing them again at their follow up appointment a week later. I gave two presentations to the other pharmacy students and then ended the rotation with a seminar presentation for the whole clinic staff on contraceptive options. It was awesome.

Hospital: My fourth rotation is back at St. Lukes in the hospital pharmacy. I'm only two days into it but am liking it so far. It is very similar to what I did at the hospital in Pocatello. They have a central pharmacy in the basement and satelite pharmacies on most of the floors. I will rotate through each of the locatons each of which has their own specialties. Right now I'm on Med/Surg which takes care of medical and surgical admits like people with pneumonia or recovering from hip replacement surgery. I'll also spend some time in the intensive care and coronary care unit pharmacy, the pediatric unit pharmacy, and oncology unit. Since I have already made IVs before I won't have to do more of that.

Six weeks off!! My next rotation block I have off 11/13/04 to the end of December. Casey and I will be going to Florida for a huge pharmacy conference where I can interview for several residency programs at once. In January and February then I'll be doing a lot of traveling to see these sites and make up my mind which program to do.

I have 3 more rotations after my break, Infectious Disease back at St. Als, another Community (retail) at Terry Reilly in Nampa (which I am trying to switch to another Am.Care), and finally Oncology at St. Als again.

me too

2004-10-05T21:52:00.000-06:00

since this is a great and entertaining way to keep track of my friends, I thought I should join too. I am going with the assumption that you are just as interested in what I've been up to as I have been with you. I can already promise that I wont update as often as Laurel, but I'll try to do it more often than Jenny.